Christmas memories! 12/16/08

The meaning of Christmas? If you have lived enough years you know that it is not about presents, parties, or decorations. It is the time when we celebrate Jesus, our humble savior who came into the world in the most humble way. But this year, Christmas means even more for our family. I just keep thinking about Jesus being born, not in a safe and sterile hospital, but in a stable filled with animals who probably had never been washed. There were no soft new receiving blankets, but strips of cloth. Yet, He was born perfect and glowing. Well, that is the way Kensley was born too. She was pink and perfect. She cried out at being born, just like a baby should. It was only after the birth that everything went sooooo terribly wrong. When I think of that time, I shake uncontrollably. Now I know what post traumatic syndrome means. I have remained faithful. I have prayed. But I was confused too. How could God solve this problem? How could He cure this baby with such an impossible condition? How would I ever be a Mom to Kaydee and Cooper while being a nurse to Kensley too? How would I get it all done? How would we ever find a sense of 'normal' again? How, How How! Well, here I am, seven months down the road and Kensley has come so far. She had accomplished all the things that the doctors said she would probably never do. She continues to get stronger and healthier. I guess I have learned my lesson, or at least remembered it...sometimes it isn't our place to understand the HOW, but to just wait on the impossible, because NOTHING is impossible to God. We are not done by any means, but we are finding a way to live life and to live it loving each other no matter how inconvenient, or how messy the house is, or how little time we have. Hugs from Heaven, Tana