3rd Broken Line 3/23/09

This is J. and I am going to take a stab at blogging tonight.

It is 4:00a.m. on Monday March 23, 2009 and I am sitting in the hospital with Kensley. She broke her third central line in about the last month and a half. We understand how she broke her first one, as she sat down and cracked the plastic part. The last two have just broken off. She is a very active little girl, now that she has the crawling thing down, and you have to follow her all over the house moving and holding her bags. Its not bad when the fluids are off, as the central line is not exposed and is tucked away safely under her clothes. When the fluids are running is a different story. She broke it about 11:00p.m. this evening and we called the surgeon and he said get to the hospital and get an IV in her and run fluids tonight and he will replace it again tomorrow. I think we will go with a different brand this time. I came with Kensley tonight, as someone had to stay home with Kaydee and Cooper and get them to school in the morning. Tana has had to do this hospital deal the last two times this happened, as I was out of town on both occasions.
I'm not sure I have told you what an amazing woman I am married to. She has been through the mill this past year and handles everything with a Christian warriors heart. Sure there are times when she gets down and frustrated, like tonight when everything is going fine and all of a sudden you look down and see a big pool of blood all over your daughters clothes and on your hands. (Would make almost anyone freak out). I'm not sure everyone realizes what she does on a daily basis, so I will list some of her many duties as a full time mother, Full time nurse, Full time Wife, etc, etc. She first takes wonderful care of me and the two older kids. washes our clothes, cooks most of the meals, takes them to school, picks them up, hauls them to karate, dance, basketball, baseball and other activities. She washes ton's of clothes especially for Kensley as with Short Bowel kids the it's all about the poop. She changes at least 10 if not more wet or soiled diapers per day, mixes Kensley's formula at least twice a day, and trust me it is not that easy. She puts on and takes off her fluids everyday, which is another chore as the line usually needs primed and flushed etc. We change her central line dressing once a week and usually have to replace her NG tube about once a week after Kensley has pulled it out. (Very difficult task, both physically and emotionally). She also does the grocery shopping, cleaning and helps the kids with homework and school projects. She does all this with a sense of confidence and calmness that is truly magical to me. Of course I try to help when I am home, but unfortunately my job requires me to travel quite a bit and she does all of this on her own. What an amazing woman she is. I could not think of anyone better to be the mother of our kids. Tana thanks for making our lives so wonderful, we Love you more than you know.
Most of you know we went to Omaha this past week for Kensley's check-up and additional testing. We took Kaydee and Cooper with us, as well as my Mom and Dad (Thanks Mom and Dad you were a lifesaver and made the kids springbreak very very special). We had a great trip and a very good check-up. They are very pleased with Kensley's progress, and we don't have to go back up their until late July or early August. We will not know all the results of the test for a few days, but she is really doing quite well, as long as we can keep her central lines from breaking, and keep weaning her off of the fluids. Calorie wise, she is doing it almost all orally, which is wonderful news. We would like to ask everyone to please pray for Kensley and our family. Please pray for no infections or complications from surgery and no more lines being broken. Thanks again to all of you who have blessed our lives this past year, we could not have made it this far without you.

J.

Hanging On 3/5/09

I haven't blogged in a long time. I could tell you that I have just been busy, which would be true, but it wouldn't be the truth. The truth is that I have sat down so many times to blog, and I just couldn't. I couldn't think of what to say. I couldn't muster a positive attitude. I simply did not feel inspired enough to talk to anyone. I haven't wanted to leave the house. I simply have been hurting. So many things have happened, so many things have been going wrong, and I just could not muster the strength to enjoy the things that have been going right. During these last weeks Kensley has explored the whole house on all fours. She is a crawling queen. She also pulls up on anything that she can reach. She has two perfect little teeth, and two more on the way. She loves to hug and kiss all of us and she loves to go outside to see the "doggies". She also broke her central line on February 19th and had to have it replaced which is surgery. Then the new line broke again 10 days later on March 3rd, another surgery. She has been up and down on stools and dehydrated on Monday the 2nd of March. She has been very finicky about solids, and has really slowed down on eating. It has been very crazy and stressful and I have been very sad. I had such great expectation for 9 months. I thought her central line would be gone, NOPE. I thought she would be eating more solids, NOPE. I thought things would be sooo much better, NOT Quite! It has taken God several weeks to reach me on all this. I have been angry and disappointed and a little lost. When you are lost in the woods of confusion and hurt, it can be hard to find your way out, but God kept shining a flashlight in at me. He used all sorts of lights, strangers, situations, Bible stories, a few animals, family and friends, and now I am at the edge of the woods slowly emerging. One of the most potent of God's arsenal is a little baby with a perfect dimple in her right cheek and a love for the dogs. Watch the video to see why. Tana