I haven't blogged in a long time. I could tell you that I have just been busy, which would be true, but it wouldn't be the truth. The truth is that I have sat down so many times to blog, and I just couldn't. I couldn't think of what to say. I couldn't muster a positive attitude. I simply did not feel inspired enough to talk to anyone. I haven't wanted to leave the house. I simply have been hurting. So many things have happened, so many things have been going wrong, and I just could not muster the strength to enjoy the things that have been going right. During these last weeks Kensley has explored the whole house on all fours. She is a crawling queen. She also pulls up on anything that she can reach. She has two perfect little teeth, and two more on the way. She loves to hug and kiss all of us and she loves to go outside to see the "doggies". She also broke her central line on February 19th and had to have it replaced which is surgery. Then the new line broke again 10 days later on March 3rd, another surgery. She has been up and down on stools and dehydrated on Monday the 2nd of March. She has been very finicky about solids, and has really slowed down on eating. It has been very crazy and stressful and I have been very sad. I had such great expectation for 9 months. I thought her central line would be gone, NOPE. I thought she would be eating more solids, NOPE. I thought things would be sooo much better, NOT Quite! It has taken God several weeks to reach me on all this. I have been angry and disappointed and a little lost. When you are lost in the woods of confusion and hurt, it can be hard to find your way out, but God kept shining a flashlight in at me. He used all sorts of lights, strangers, situations, Bible stories, a few animals, family and friends, and now I am at the edge of the woods slowly emerging. One of the most potent of God's arsenal is a little baby with a perfect dimple in her right cheek and a love for the dogs. Watch the video to see why. Tana
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
AHHHH What a precious baby!! I can't believe how clear she can say doggies! The video just made me so happy that I cried!! I am really sorry to hear about all of the problems Kensley has been having especially with her central line. It is so hard when your baby has to go through that. I know Ally is going to get her tonsils out probably this summer (she keeps getting strep throat over and over) and I am a nervous wreck! It makes my tummy hurt anytime I think about it. Hand in there and keep your spirits up! Kensley is a miracle, she is growing and she is a happy baby who knows nothing but happiness and love from her friends and family. I love you guys lots and I am always thinking of you! Please call me if you need anything or just need someone to listen!!
Oh Tana! I loved the video and I cried when I heard that baby's sweet voice. I ache for the hurt and uncertainty you are experiencing. i check your site every single day and pray for your family. You are such an inspiration to me...even when you are struggling!!! I am speaking at a Christian Women's conference in April, and you and another mom I know have been my inspiration in putting together this talk. It is about Trusting the Great Gardener, and is about trusting God even when things are NOT going how we want them to. You do this everyday, and your strength reminds the rest of us that we can do it too! I copied a portion of the talk below. Please remember that God is using you and your family in such wonderful BIG ways to encourage and witness to others!!!Sorry for such a long post. i really need to get your email address from Clay!! We love you!!!!
Rhonda and the Mathis clan
Psalm 112:7-8 says, “He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
The psalmist is not saying that there will be NO bad news. He is saying, “Do NOT FEAR bad news.” Have a steadfast heart and trust in the Lord and you will have no fear! That is comfort! That is the kind of comfort that only the God of ALL comfort can provide.
So, where can we get that comfort when so many bad things are happening to us? Perhaps you are in the middle of your biggest trial, disappointment or hurt right now. Where do you go? How do you find the faith, the love, the trust, the comfort and peace that only the Great Gardener can give?
Only at the feet of Jesus. I love the story in Luke 10 about Martha and Mary. Martha has opened her home to Jesus and gets frustrated that she is doing all the work while Mary sits at the feet of Jesus. Beth Moore pointed out something I had never taken note of before. As all scripture is God breathed, we must take special note of ALL scripture. She was intrigued by a contrast in Luke 10:38-39. “He came to a village where a woman NAMED Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister CALLED Mary. NAMED Martha and CALLED Mary. Why not write named Martha and named Mary? Do you remember Ruth and her mother in law, Naomi, in the Old Testament? These two had suffered enormous lost, and as Naomi had lost her husband and both sons, she cried and told others to call her Mara, which means bitter. Mary comes from the word Mara. Perhaps Mary had circumstances in her life that prompted her to be called Mary, or bitter, rather than her given name like Martha. Perhaps these very circumstances that had driven Mary to bitterness, had blessed her at the feet of Jesus. In Luke 10 Jesus proceeds to tell Martha, “You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
OK...where is the picture of mommy's new haircut? You look great! You need to post a picture of all of you, but especially Kensley and her beautiful mommy inside and out! Thanks for all your love, especially this week. I thank God everyday that we are friends! Hugs and Kisses (and a head butt to Kensley)~M~
Hey I guess I was signed in as Morgan.
Mitzi
Oh.....J and Tana! I sit in amazement watching this little girl of yours. She is doing incredible!!! I know...(believe me, I know), it's not all the external. I know there are much more serious issues going on inside. BUT....she looks wonderful! She looks just like a "normal" baby at her age. She really does!! I know things are still going on that everyone else does not have to deal with day in and day out, BUT.....sometimes the simple outward appearances (that everything IS ok), is what you need to hold on to. The fact that she can crawl all over the place, and say "doogie".....OH!.....those are tremendous blessings. Think back to those moments in the beginning when you thought you would never experience stuff like that. Praise God! He's not finished with her yet. His Healing Hand is still on her....still patiently working and molding and making all well again.
Take heart! She is IN HIS HANDS!! And so are YOU!
I love you both and continue to pray for your sweet family,
Lori
How is it going in Omaha? We have been thinking about you. We are praying you have a safe trip.
Mitzi & gang
Post a Comment