Kensley is doing well. She weighs 15lbs and 12oz and is playing and happy. She has made it through the central line repair without an infection. Her line however, is becoming increasingly harder to draw blood from. It is infusing well, but the draws are harder. I pray that it will hold until January, when it may be removed. For now we are all feeling the Christmas spirit and know that this Christmas will be especially meaningful because of the miracles and answered prayers that we witness everyday. Kensley is by no means completely out of danger, but we have great hope that that day will come, and we will continue to pray for a complete healing because God wants to grant the desires of our heart.
It has occurred to me that being a Christian does not happen overnight, or in the blink of an eye. AND, I do not believe that it suddenly happens the second that you hit the baptismal waters. No, baptism is just the moment in time when you decide to start becoming a Christian, and the cooking begins. Apparently Christians require many ingredients and a lot of stirring the pot. Each one must be seasoned with different spices and such. Then you have to let them rise for a long time.
I came to this conclusion after talking to a friend of mine. She was really upset because in her opinion "Tana, you are such a good Christian. If something as horrible as what happened to Kensley can happen to you, then how much worst will happen to me." First of all thank you for the compliment, but there are no good or bad Christians. Especially me, I'm just a struggling sinner like all the rest of us. You either believe and are a Christian or you don't believe and you aren't a Christian. Well, of course some people are only pretending to believe. Just like your mother always said, 'Actions speak louder than words' You can tell the believers from the non-believers by watching and not listening. So, I always hope that my actions show you how I feel about our Lord. It is true that I have had some trials. We will call them my seasonings. But, with each trial, each hurt and each pain, I have become more assured that God loves me and Jesus is standing with me. And more assured that HE is not finished with me yet. I truly believe that there are blessing and miracles and wonderful ministries ahead of me. There may even be a few more hardships, but with my hand in the Fathers, I will push ahead. I thank God everyday that He thinks this crazy Texas lady is worth all the trouble. BUT, He does and he thinks you are worth it as well. We will all face things in this life. We learn to love life only when we learn how precious it really is. So don't beat yourself up about being the perfect Christian, just keep trying and praying everyday. Life may not be fair, but God is just and if you remain faithful to Him, He will remain faithful to you. We all need a little seasoning and things baked slowly always taste sweeter. Hugs from Heaven, Tana
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